My Metissage

Metissage

Self-discovery and growth by V. Bonnie Stewart

Steam leaves the lake

The cold embraces the air

Sun is trying to break through

Ducks, turtles and frogs greet the morning dew

I am a witness to the wonder

The awe of nature’s morning greeting

-B. Stewart

Fall is here

Days are shorter

The sun hides from us

We are left in darkness to await the Winter.

Tracking

“I find it extremely interesting how closely related Theatre is to the indigenous culture. The notion of connecting and everyone working together as a family is an integral part of my teaching practice for both Dance and Drama. It was part of my acting training in University. To build trust, a safe space and to create an environment of care are the ABC’s of Theatre/Drama. ‘There is no “I” in Theatre’. That was a piece of advice I received in my first year of University and it always stayed with me. You need to work as a team or it falls apart fast. No one soul can be more important than the others. For a two hander show, there are thirty people working production to get the show on its feet and make it happen. A show cannot exist without the crew surrounding the actors on stage; even a Peter Brook production still needs a light and producers. Egos need to be in check, kindness needs to outweigh jealousy in order for the machine to work and run proper.

Dance needs to work the same way. Although it has its challenges. Flamenco doesn’t exist without the cohesion of everyone on stage working together. No one can outshine someone else. Each artist takes a turn “leading the band”, so to speak. Much like jazz, flamencas lean on one another to make the creative process work. When a dancer, guitarist, singer, palmista and percussionist are on stage, I like to call it a marriage of five people. There is a lot of give and take. All must compromise, watch, listen and follow each other. No one can let their ego get the best of them or the whole thing falls apart, like a divorce. They need to be a team, a family and connect on such a level where if one falls, the other four are waiting to catch them.”

-B. Stewart Writing Practice

Painting (of me) by Esmie Gayo McLaren

Shown at the Federation of Artists Art

Gallery on Granville Island then on display

in Ottawa for the Federation of Artists.

Burnaby Central Theatre Company‘s Logo

Created by students

When I first arrived at Central,

the students weren’t exactly proud to be in Theatre.

This school is an intensely sports based school

and the Arts were an after thought. Students

were made fun of if they were in Theatre or Drama.

I wanted to turn that around, I wanted them to be

proud of themselves and proud of their achievements.

I put forward this idea of creating a logo, a logo that

they would create together. A logo that would be on our

posters, our hoodies, our programs and would

represent us. At first, it was a hard sell. But, once they

understood they had the autonomy, they seemed to

run with it. On the left is their creation. A paw for our

school mascot, “Wildcats”, CTC - Central Theatre

Company and the Theatre Masks with a ribbon

connecting us all together.

Mirror of Burnaby

In Embers, Wagamese states, “Teachings come from everywhere when you open yourself to them. That’s the trick of it, really. Open yourself to everything and everything opens itself to you”(58). This is one of my favourite quotes from Wagamese. I loved this quote so much that I wrote it twice in my notes in two entirely different places. In my writings I listed, “this poem is so meaningful, important, yet very lost on so many students……” Why are students afraid to open up? Why are we as adult to be open? Vulnerability? Fear of failure? Fear of not being perfect on the first try? No one can learn with such fears. We need to create a safe space, a thankful relaxing environment to be open and to be trusting. I believe exploring the land practice helps this process. To go outdoors and explore. To breathe in fresh air. To take in the beauty and peace of nature. It centres oneself and connects oneself to Mother Earth. Let the body relax and become open to new ideas without reservation. One of the best acting teachers I had at UBC, Bonnie Allen, would tell us “to have a wiliness to fail”. It’s ok to fail, you learn from failure. She would also say, “If you forget you lines and your mind goes blank, remember Sages spend a lifetime meditating on mountain tops waiting to clear their minds. You have just achieved this.” Advice that has stayed with me and has helped me to be open to learning. Open to learning something new, hence photography became my Arts Practice.

“Based on this understanding, American Indians symbolically recognized their relationship to plants, animals, stones, trees, mountains, rivers, lakes, streams, and a host of other living entities. Through seeking, making sharing and celebrating these natural relationships, they came to perceive themselves as living in sea of relationships. In each of the places they lived, they learned the subtle, but all important, language of natural relationship” (Cajete, 73).

The ecology of nature, how everything lives in harmony and exist amongst one another naturally in a balanced melody of purity from Mother Earth. As I was gifted with the exploration of the Land Practice , I was lucky to be able to explore many places. One of which was the land of where I grew up, the Sunshine Coast. I was born in Vancouver, but grew up in Gibsons. I was a dance and drama kid. I was twelve before I realized no one broke out into song and dance in the streets as a normal occurrence. When I wasn’t living in a creation unto my own, I spent most of my time at the beach, rivers and forests. We were always in the water in the spring, summer, day and night. Swimming until our lips turned bluish purple.

As I went up the Coast to explore my Land Practice, I was able to reconnect to the land in a different way than I had before. I went deep into the woods and lost myself in the ferns and moss. I felt an intense peace in the silence of the forest and the running of the streams. The pockets of sunlight peeped through the trees’ canopy streaming in beams of light. So many textures blending perfectly throughout the forest floor. The air was fresher. I felt peace, relaxed and open.

I went on to explore Sechelt and I was able to connect with it in a way that I never had before. Sechelt Nation was the first Nation to establish Self Government in Canada. When I was growing up, we were never allowed to walk on the Band Land or to explore any of the historic sites on the indigenous land. Now, it has been opened up and anyone may respectfully continue along the seawalk and visit the unceded territory. It was amazing. I came across many totem poles. Magnificent totem poles that were at the water’s edge to welcome visitors approaching via water with their stories clear for all to see. I explored totem poles that were going back to the land. Totem poles that were for celebration for the community and represented connections and family. I felt a sense of spirit, welcome, calmness and openness.

I love the details on these totems. They speak volumes to

the visitors entering the beach.

This is my favourite character

on the totem pole. I don’t know who

or what it is, but I adore the colours,

eyes and mouth. The carving is lovely.

The beaver is very detailed.

You can see his teeth from

a kilometre away along the

seawalk.

The majestic totem poles

at the water’s edge. Clear visions

of the beaver, whale, eagle and bear.

Totem Poles to celebrate the

community. These are away from

the shore, closer to town and

one of the community houses.

Natural wood holds a

beauty unto its own.

Robin Wal Kimmerer’s Braiding Sweetgrass truly takes Cajete’s teachings to another level. She incorporates so much of it into her life and lives it in an open and beautiful way. There are so many wonderful lessons in this book, it’s so rich from cover to cover. It has inspired me to continue to read more of her writings and be open to learning and following these teachings we have learning in this class.

One of my favourite chapters in this book is “Learning the Grammar of Animacy”. I felt an instant connection to learning a new language and her techniques of trying to learn. The fact that she pasted her kitchen, phone and house with Post-it notes of words to learn the new words, truly made me laugh out loud. “One teacher reassures us that this will come with practice, but another elder concedes that these close similarities are inherent in the language. As Stewart King, a knowledge keeper and great teacher, reminds us, the Creator meant for us to laugh, so humor is deliberately built into the syntax. Even a small slip of the tongue can convert “We need more firewood” to “Take off your clothes”(Kimmerer, 54). I have experienced this with learning Spanish and been very embarrassed at leaving off one accent. I lived in Italy for a year and have also lived in Spain and I’m constantly mixing up the two. It just gets me into trouble.

“There are usually about ten of us, from all over the country. Together we learn to count and to say pass the salt. Someone asks, “How do you say please pass the salt?” Our teacher, Justin Neely, a young man devoted to language revival, explains that while there are several words for thank you, there is no word for please. Food was meant to be shared, no added politeness needed; it was simply a cultural given that one was asking respectfully. The missionaries took this absence as further evidence of crude manners” (Kimmerer, 52). This is a reminder of misunderstood indigenous culture was and still is. So much has been taken away language, land and culture. Why? For what? So that generations continue to pay the price. My hope is to continue to learn more of indigenous teachings as they inspire me to connect and create community among my students.

My Arts Practice of Photography

lead me to Steveston. A place that

was once harmoniously inhabited by

Indigenous, Japanese and Chinese until

the greed and fear of government

men pushed them out.

Steveston was established

in 1877 and soon became the Salmon

capitol of the World. Soon Indigenous

people were pushed out of their land and

moved to reserves inland. Japanese worked

for minuscule amounts, while Chinese

worked to pay brokers back the money for brining

them to Canada.

Bunks in the Chinese

bunkhouse. The Bunkhouse

was brought down from the

interior of BC and restored.

It is the only Chinese Bunkhouse

left in Canada from the 1900's.

Steveston has commissioned

Indigenous Artists to line the Historic

site with paintings and art.

In Embers, Wagamese writes, “When the Drum Beats it resonates beyond your body. It

becomes the heartbeat of Creation as it was meant to be. To sing with it is to offer a blessing to all that is and to receive blessings back. That’s why drums echo. Put your hand on your chest. Close your eyes. Feel the drum in your chest. Close your eyes. Feel the drum in your chest. Sing with it and blessings become your breath, indrawn and expelled, emptying and filling, all the world at once...”(56). The drum wakes me up. I feel the big drum run through my whole body,

starting with my hand, filling my centre and reaching my toes. I feel it’s power. It centres me. I am

able to put away the trials and tribulations of the day and turn my focus to the learning at hand.

I love the sensation, the feeling the awakening. I love the rhythm running through the veins and

beating like a heartbeat. It feeds my soul, it pushes me forward, it allows me to grow.

I am including a video from a flamenco class. I was recovering from my nerve hand surgery. I mess up in a few places, but we are dancing to a cajón and the drumming that emerges pushes

the rhythm forward. The nerve surgery was a result from me being hit by a car as a pedestrian

four years ago. The trauma is still there, the woman didn’t stop when she hit me, she kept driving.

I often still see myself on that pavement, not being able to move and her lights coming towards me. The sound of drums push me forward. Fills my body and allows me to set aside what needs to be set aside. So the video is just practice, not perfect, but the drum moves me beyond.

Incorporating the learning

For many political reasons, I wasn’t

able to lay the blanket at our Remembrance

Day Assembly. Thank you Vicki for encouraging me

to find another way. I did with the drama students. I

did the protocol and we did the ceremony of

laying the blanket. The students comments were positive

and they really truly loved it. My next step is to add another

blanket, add the grandfathers, and have students choose items

to bring in. This is very special and connects students in more

ways than I can say.

Students focused on

laying the blanket. This class also has

the troubled student that I have been

trying to connect with. Thank you Vicki

for your advice. I have him helping with

tasks. I don’t make eye contact. I’m making

progress. There is a lot of trauma there, it

takes time.

Want to expand. Have more

Than one blanket. Add the grandfathers. Add

the medicine. Have students choose items from the

trails near the school.

What comes from Spirit by Richard Wagamese was

rich with his wisdom. As I explored my Land and Art

Practices, one thing I cherished the most was the

silence I found. I had escaped the sounds of school

bells, students yelling my last name, the clang and

clatter of the Student Commons. Nature had sounds

but for the most part I loved the silence, the beautiful

silence. “True Silence is more than just not talking.

It’s responding to that deep inner yearning I carry

to feel myself alive, to exit beyond my thinking, to

live beyond worry and frustration. True silence is

calm being. True silence is appreciating the moment for t

the moment. Every breath a connection to my life

force, my essence. It is the grandest music I have

ever heard” (25).

In One Drum, Wagamese writes “Breath is an

unconscious action. It happens of its own accord.

When we emerge into this reality, breathing is the first act we perform

as independent living beings. Our lungs fill with the Sacred Breath and we cry

for contact. In fact, our entire journey on the planet is marked by two

remarkably interconnected things-the will to keep breathing and the yearning for physical and spiritual contact. When we feel lonely we allow our rational minds to tell us that we are missing a person or a place. In truth, what we pine for is contact itself-”(69).

Getting through trauma of losing a loved one is tough. I do breathing exercises to

help me through the rough times. I focus on my breath. I fill my lungs slowly, intently

and consciously. I hold the breath for a moment, maybe two. I slowly let it out. I imagine

the air came from the tips of my toes, instead of my lungs. I repeat the process.

Like the drum, the breath centres me. It gives me focus.

“Harmonizing involves the integration of mind,

body, and spirit through a dynamic and complex

set of activities. For Indians, living in a harmonious

and sustainable relationship with the land was a sacred

responsibility. It was a perspective tempered with the

realization that neglect of this responsibility would

bring dire results and retribution from the Earth. The